1. Losing important people in my life. although it happens to me quite frequently. not only talking about death, but also in terms of an emotional contact.
2. Incapability of dancing. I’ve been having dreams about it lately.. scares me.
3. Being a complete failure and disappointment.
4. Proving that i am not good enough because everyday i try to prove that i am.
I through my first Bboy event with the Bestie @nguyenpaulina. Idk how mucho we gained/lost, but the vibe was on point, the people there was on point, the battles were hype, DJ was hype. Definitely a memorable, but Tiring night. Über tired.. Thanks to Saewl, Kyd Steez, Alvin, Utmos, and Megatone for making it happen! Congrats to Mobile Rhythm for winning the 3v3 and Tenpachi and Dirty Smooth for winning 2v2! :). And finally.. Good night world! (Taken with instagram)
(Source: ronswansoff, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)
So lately, I’ve been getting hit ups by random friends that i haven’t really spoken to for a long time. The big question was this “Where have you been?” and another “What have you been up too?!”
Well this may spark various arguments among certain individuals who may read this, but these were the thoughts that were mingling through my mind and have been eating me inside for the past few months since this year has started.
lets start with this.
What Happened?
Towards the end of last year, I have been getting into a couple unnecessary and easily avoidable arguments with my friends. I admit that I partake in about 50% of the problem. It was my confidence that has been dropped to an all-time low. I was going through problems with my ex and at the same time a problem with my best friend as well. Being around the people I usually hang around with, I became uncomfortable, and I felt like I didn’t belong anymore. I thought to myself that I should separate myself from these individuals just to reconstruct myself. I personally felt weak and insecure around them. I needed to get away from it.
So to start off, I grabbed my Nintendo DS, and started playing Pokemon. For a couple months, I’ve just been playing Pokemon(Soul Silver, Black, and Pearl). Also I stayed in contact with my Best Friend Paulina<3 and a really good friend of mine at the time Julie(and to Julie i know i disappeared on you as well.. and i apologize for that. its not because of the situation that i stated above. it was for selfish reasons and i’m sorry. i will probably talk about it with you in person when i get the chance too).
At the same time of my Pokemon endeavors i also started working out and running more at the gym. *my punctuation is getting lazy sorry haha* Within this year i lost a significant amount of weight and yes i am below 200 lbs now :]. I worked out in the morning and i sessioned in the afternoon with Mobile Rhythm Crew or with my crew member Zick. I was really on the idea of losing more weight i wanted too. I felt like it was the only way to gain my confidence.
So Where Have You Been?
Around February, there were tryouts for a crew called Beach Street. I had re-tryout for my position on the team. I luckily made it to the squad and the team consisted of: Ryan, Tatsuya, Nick, Michael, Bryant, Aston, Justin(who later couldnt make it to the battles with us), Alvin(replacing Justin for the battle), Garrett, James Kang, and Myself. It was the first year battling without Villn and Mpact so we were all nervous yet we felt like we had to prove that we didn’t need them.
Skipping forward.
I was at home playing Pokemon and i felt like going out. I texted Ryan and Tatsuya asking them what they were doing. They told me to come over our friend’s house(Hu). I came over and we were just hanging out, talking, and practicing. Tatsuya suggested that i should start hanging out with them more. At first, i was quite skeptical only because i was so closed in the comforts of my home and pokemon, but i said WHY NOT!?
What Have You Been Up Too?
I’ve been studying, practicing really hard, and hanging out with Ryan, Tatsuya, and Michael. On my journey in reconstructing myself, i found that, i never want to go back to my friends back at home. Its not that i hate them, i just found that i am better without them. I hate cutting ties with certain individuals, but sometimes its only for the best. Hence, I am happier without that, and its probably one of the best decisions i have ever made.
Hanging out with the people i kick it with now, was the Highlight of this year. Its halfway in. Ryan and Tatsuya really beat the demon that was lurking inside of me. They helped me grow up, yet restrengthen my inner-child. They’ve been really good friends to me and i said this on video already but i just had to write it out because not everyone watches my videos.
Ryan Tatsuya and Michael are who I’ve been with most of the time, but here is what people really ask me.
WHO IS THAT GIRL YOU’RE WITH NOW?!
She’s a girl i’ve been dating. I met her at a debut that i went too with Ryan. We didn’t know anyone, we just went because his parents said free food! hahah. She is also who i have been with. And just like every moment i am with my friends, i LOVE everyone moment i’m with her. This is super super super cliche’(as my friend sherwin was telling me earlier) but she is different. She put in the effort that no other girl has put in. And most importantly, despite how busy she is, how our schedules collide.. She’s always there, and always has time for me. She deserves my effort. I really like her. She’s a big part of the change in me. I’m really happy with her :].
What about Stylistic Kings?!
all i have to say is SK ALL DAY! I never left, i just went in training. i wanted to do so much this year, but i wasn’t ready. i needed to train harder.
Long Beach Shichibukai?
My new crew with Ryan Tatsuya and Mike. :] but honestly we are just a bunch of guys who hangout and like to dance. hahah we dont take our crew seriously like i do with SK, but we do see ourselves progessing overtime :]
for now that’s all i really had going on for me. I’m sorry if this post has offended anyone. I didn’t really intend to offend people, but this is whats been going on. and since most of my friends follow me on tumblr and have been asking how i’ve been. well… here you go :]. well hope everyone is doing well. im going to bed. its been a long day!
Bboy Infinite(Stylistic Kings/LB Shichibukai)
